Dan Bern
I have been a fan of this singer/songwriter for a long time now. I highly recommend his music to anyone looking for a good sound combined with a good laugh. He is sort-of a combination between Tenacious D and Bob Dylan. You should check out his website for a complete discography and lyrics. The lyrics are sometimes hysterical. I thyink I’ll copy some here for your reading pleasure.

From Dan Bern’s Dan Bern Album:

Wasteland excerpt:
I saw dead Marilyn Monroe
Strung up on every street corner in Hollywood
Like some two bit whore
Offering a discount rate
And I wondered how Joe Dimaggio felt
I saw dead James Dean’s ghost
Wandering the sidewalk looking troubled
And I wondered how his mama felt
I saw signs that said “Headshots done for cheap”
Signs that said “Extras wanted, top dollars paid”
Signs for “Haircuts”
Signs for “Manicures”
And signs for “Tanning salons”
And signs for “Wardrobe specialists”
Signs for “Cosmetic surgery”
And signs for “Assertiveness training”
And I stopped to read them all

Excerpt from Marilyn:
Marilyn Monroe didn’t marry Henry Miller

But if she did
He’d a taken her to Paris
And if she did
She’d have smoked a lot of opium
And if she did
She’d have dyed her hair blue
And if she did
She might be alive

Oh-ohh Henry Miller
Oh-ohh Marilyn Monroe

Marilyn Monroe didn’t marry Henry Miller
She lived outside the Tropic of Capricorn
Marilyn Monroe didn’t marry Henry Miller
I don’t even know if she knew Henry Miller

But if she did
He’d a taken her to Paris
And if she did
They’d have fucked every day
And if she did
She’d have felt like a woman
Not a photogragh
In a magazine

Oh-ohh Henry Miller
Oh-ohh Marilyn Monroe

This is not a knock against Arthur Miller
Death of a Salesman is my favorite play
But Marilyn Monroe
Should have married Henry Miller
And if she did
She might be alive

Cause if she did
He’d have taken her to Paris
Tied her to the bed
And eaten dinner off of her
And okay maybe
she’d have died the same, anyway
But if she did
she’d have had more fun

Excerpt from TooLate to Die Young (this is my favorite lyric):
The day the Elvis died
Was like a mercy killing
America breathed
A sigh of relief
We knew all about the drugs
And the Vegas shows
And there wasn’t much of anything
That looked like grief

And I guess he shoulda done
Like James Dean did
‘Stead of putting on weight
And sinking down, down, down
Easier to take
If he had just skidded straight
To souvenir city
And T-shirt town

Excerpt from King of the World:
As king of the world
I’ll occasionally go
To China to visit you guys
You don’t have to be afraid
I don’t need you to bow down
I’m not God
I’m just the king, I realize
Well, it might be nice though
If you’d kiss me feet
And call me, “All knowing leader of men”
If you were king of the world
I’m sure you’d want the same
For yourself

I am the king of the world
King of the world
Can you believe my luck
I’m king of the world

OK, that’s enough of this…