Im sure you’ve all seen this and been through it….

One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You’re able to function  relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink  5 sodas and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.

Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but  you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is  only increasing your rumbling gut, which is stillt ossing  around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is
some definite havoc being reeked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not  productive. Any time a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you  of the flavoured schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink.   Life would be betterr ight now if you were home  in your bed watching Lucy re-runs. You’ve had 4 cups of coffee,
a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet coke and haven’t peed yet!!!

Four Star Hangover (****)
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can’t speak too quickly or  else you might puke. Your boss has already lambastedy ou  for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze.
You wore nice clothes, but that can’t hide the fact that you onlys haved one side of your face. (For the ladies, it looks like you  put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars.) Your eyes
look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your  sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits  you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.

Five Star Hangover (*****)
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually  annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapour is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have
toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is
suffocating you. You don’t have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed thism orning. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge ofa lcohol-scented fluid with a rare ‘floater’ thrown in. The sole purpose of this ‘floater’ seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right now.

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:
       Indubitably
       Innovative
       Preliminary
       Proliferation
       Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICUL T TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:
       Specificity
        British Constitution
       Passive-aggressive disorder
       Loquacious Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:
       Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex
       Nope, no more booze for me
       Sorry, but you’re not really myt ype
       Good evening officer, isn’t itl ovely out tonight
       Oh I couldn’t, nobody wants to hear me sing