All I wanted to do was cook a brilliant dinner for my mother and family. It’s Mother’s Day, you know. In the midst of the preparation of my epic lasagna, I made a major error. I zigged when I should have zagged. I was chopping some Italian parsley for the sauce, and accidentally chopped off the end of my left index finger. No kidding. Fingerbang.

Really. I chopped the whole corner off my finger. Fingernail and all. It bled incredibly, but didn’t hurt very much. I did my best to make sure my family wasn’t worried. I patched it up and made jokes about myself. I wrapped it in gauze and tape and plastic and paper towels. I stretched a rubberband around it to apply pressure. I pretty much almost fingerbang-banged my way into the emergency room.

Instead I wrapped it up and kept right on cooking. The meal turned out better than expected (the finger a little worse). I used fresh mozzerella and fresh ricotta cheeses, plus ground veal, pork, and beef, in homemade marinara sauce. I cooked a brassiole, 2 steaks, 3 porkchops, and 7 meatballs in the sauce. It was fairly incredible. I applied dressing to the salad only once. I had to change the dressing on my bloody finger 3 times.

In any case, everyone thoroughly enjoyed it. specially me. I haven’t had a carbohydrate in 2 weeks. Busting out with a huge lasagna and bread and cheese and veal was awesome.

I got back to Queens at around 12:30 tonight, bandaged finger pointing straight in the air like I was about to made a great point. I had to re-dress the wound again, but this time I had my roommate to take pictures of the whole thing.

So, I guess it’s time to share. Please don’t look at these if you have a weak stomach. They are pretty bad. When I did take these, the wound had already been bandaged for hours, so the bleeding had subsided enough to get semi-clear shots. Earlier in the day you couldn’t even see the shape of the cut because the blood was pouring out so badly. Here’s 4 pictures of my chopped and bloody fingerbang. For science…

Sorry about that, but I had to share. I just had to.