high-writer
Dude,
I am so totally high. Like my super high all-the-time friends are never even going to believe this. I am gonna explain over and over and they won’t buy it. First of all, I wished for 3 Muskateers candy bar to a bowl of Saltine Crackers and leftover fortune cookies, and then I reached in and found a 3 Muskateers. It was crazy. So I looked at it and it was so big and I have been trying not to eat carbs too much and sugar is the worst, so it was bad to have it. Anyway, I was like, in my head only, “Man, the 3 Muskateers is so big, I would be better off with Hershey’s kisses. Like a few. So I reached back in and found Hershey’s Kisses. I shit you not. So then I was hungry but didn’t really want to peel the foil part off of the Kisses. That’s so annoying. So then I went in the fridge and hoped that the hunk of Keilbasa that was leftover from yesterday night barbequing was still in there. And it was. So I put it in the microwave. Then I put it on whole wheat bread. And then I put a little bit of Peter Luger sauce on there and… awesome. So then I thought and still think hot dogs would be great in tortillas. I told my roommate and he laughed but then I totally forgot the word for tortilla. For some reason I could only think of the word tostada and tostito but thats a brand name and definitely not the word. So I Googled it, but we couldn’t stop laughing, or find it, so I found Del Taco and I went to that site and saw the ingredients of burrito and the wrap was tortilla. So then I knew it was tortilla. That sucked. So I was telling my roommate how great that would taste, hotdog and tortilla, but he kept laughing so hard I couldn’t talk I was laughing also. But I never tasted it before and I think that’s weird. I have had tons of tortillas with other ingredients, and many hotdogs on other buns and breads. So I assumed that I could do a good job of guessing how good they would taste together. So I couldn’t finish the story or the ingredients. Like maybe cheese and/or Peter Luger, and/or bacon would be good. So I just wanted to get that out and let you know about that taste. So then I went back to Del Taco to check out the rest of the menu, which looked good. And I discovered that high people love food and especially Del Taco, but that menu looks great. They had like a puff taco or something with thicker bread like a gordita or something which is fat. But it’s so funny that you think that, so you laugh. And my roommate laughed so hard that he couldn’t talk at the same time. We had a good time and I said I really wanted the Del Taco. “Maybe I should go wish for it in the cracker bowl!” And we laughed so long we nearly woke-up the other roommate. Anyway, but I really knew that probably the wishing before was just a fluke and Del Taco puff taco was no way gonna be in there. But I tried anyway, but there was no taco. Which is such a waste because I didn’t even eat the 3 Muskateers or the Kisses. So I ate the KIsses then, like 3 of them. I hate peeling those, and then I wrote this down. So I’m still way high. And also I guess you shouldn’t smoke marijuana. Once, Dave Chapelle told me, “Smoke weed everyday.”
Um…I hope this is a joke!
Me too!
Dude,
You’ve always refered to some of the things I like to eat as disgusting, especially my taste in breakfast cereal.
But you’d love the Oki Dog, aka “Grease Bomb”:
2 Hot Dogs
Chopped Onions
Swiss Cheese
Grilled Pastrami
Glob of Chilli
All wrapped in, you guessed it, a giant TORTILLA! Mmmmm
Remember, no stems, no sticks, no stress.
oh no! not pot! not the most evil gateway drug known to man! how could you? now you’re going to start making bongs out of old mp3 players and your friends are going to have to have an intervention for you and you’re totally going to rehab. i don’t know if i can be friends with such a big stoner.
oh, hold on a second…
Now I need Gray’s Papaya. The real one; not that fake King’s Papaya. Andrew got me all craving onions. Yum.
Last night, I ate fried chicken and waffles. FRIED CHICKEN OVER A BELGIAN WAFFLE WITH SYRUP. And, I wasn’t stoned.
This is why I don’t smoke pot. I’ve made a hot dog burrito, dead sober, and liked it. If I hit the cheeba I would be 400 pounds and wandering about looking like a cross between Brian Wilson and fat vegas Elvis. Just say no.
PS. Stephanie, where did you procure said chicken and waffles? (he says while moving his hands in a Whimpy like fashion).
This is quite possibly the finest blog entry I have ever read. Smoke’em if you got’em.
dude -
u might have to smoke up again and watch this - it is the guy who did the movie “dude, where’s my car” - which u saw sober
http://www.apple.com/trailers/newline/harold_and_kumar/large.html
when I stop peeing in my pants from the laughter, I will be SO disappointed in you Christopher!!! Thanks again for dinner last night, the burger and the company was delightful
Oi Christa u WASTEMAN Wat u bare free time or soming i swear all u haters are wasteman (waste of space) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ugh! Why did’nt you specify it was a math problem? Anyway, you should try Doritos and cream cheese, just nuke the cream cheese ’til it’s soft..not too long, though..Also when you make rice krispie treats, just as the marshmallows melt you should throw in the same amount or a little more of white chocolate chips…yum…oooo, it’s been soooooo long since I had any of that.:( Too broke for the junk food but just enuff 4 some herb, shit, I’d rather get high than eat, anyway!
Look,people, you can’t get fat from smoking weed..All’s ya gotta do is
1. Get a shitty low-paying job.
2. Have some kids
3. Pay more in rent than you make in 2 weeks
4. Buy enuff weed to last you the week (repeat process 4 times a month)
5. Pay your bills, feed your kids, eventually there will be no food left 4 u
6. Then you’ll lose a WHOLE lot REAL fast..like me!!