480lb couch woman

At first you might want to laugh at the 480 pound woman who died in Florida a few days ago. Emergency workers were trying to remove her from the couch she had been FUSED to after not getting up for 6 years. Years. I chuckled to for a second. Until I read the “husband’s” quote:

“I tried to take care of her the best I could,” said 54-year-old Herman Thomas, who lived with Grinds in the duplex apartment in Golden Gate, south of Stuart. “I tried to get her to get up, but it wouldn’t do no good.” “I wish I could have pulled her off the couch, but she wouldn’t let me,” he said, covering his face and sobbing.

How ’bouts this? I thinks hes shoulds be tried fo’ murder.

Stupid backwoods fuck. Negligence doesn’t even begin to cover it. How the fuck do you, not only stand by watch your wife grow into a piece of furniture, but actually provide the food for her to do it. You have go to be fucking kidding me. This stupid piece of shit fed his wife and watched her piss and shit herself for 6 years and did nothing. He should get the death penalty as far as I’m concerned. I don’t need any more details, any more information, nothing. Kill him. Let him join his wife in the big ol’ sofa in the sky.

Jim Norton has a genius rendition of what the 911 call probably sounded like over at I Stink. He made it sound funny and sad at the same time. By the way, his site is disturbingly funny. If you don’t know Jim, he’s a stand-up comedian that frequently appears on Colin Quinn’s Comedy Central show, Tough Crowd. He loves hookers and isn’t afraid to write about it. He’s also got “a torso that resembles a scallop with 14 year old girl titties glued to it.”


[via boingboing.]

5 Comments to “480lb couch woman”

  1. andrew said something

    Six years on a couch! I hope to Christ she had Tivo.

  2. Kim Wells said something

    It reminds me a bit of that part in Seven with the man who dies from being forced to eat till he died. But sadder, and creepier cause it’s true, and not a Hollywood serial killer.

    How the hell do you become fused to a couch? I mean, there’s gotta be some point where your butt is starting to stick a bit where you are still capable of getting up and washing. I am aghast.

  3. Paolo said something

    Yes, it was the man that killed her. Mm-hm. At the most—and I’m talking as far as you can stretch your logic—this man can be considered an accessory to her death. But even then he’s guilty of feeding her to keep her alive when what he should have done was put the poh bitch out of her misery.

    Is he a prime example of human kind? No. Is he guilty of murder? No. At least not based on the limited information available. Get me something more tangible and then maybe I’d agree with you but for now I’m just glad you aren’t a judge, a lawyer or even a member of a jury. Seriously, I’m even ecstatic you aren’t a bailiff. Dude, just stay away from courtrooms altogether, please. [LOL]

  4. Tim said something

    Damn what a fat bitch. What I think happened was that the husband put a huge life insurance policy on the beached whale and is now reeping the benefits.

  5. RRRR said something

    What the hell did she eat? I think she was thinking about eating her husband so he just fed her anything she wanted. Maybe she ate the couch and shit it out and it got stuck and so she sat there. Whatever happened its just nasty!

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