too fast too furious
I was in LA two weeks ago. On Sunday, our second day in Solvang, 3 hours north of LA, in wine tasting country (ala Sideways), we visited a few more vineyards. We drove around in my friend’s 1991 Mitsubishi Montero nicknamed “Monte”. SUV’s get terrible gas mileage, but have some benefits…
Signalling, doing only 2 mph, making a left into the 3rd vineyard of the day, we heard horrendous tire screaching behind us. And then BAAAMMMMMM! Totally rear-ended, hats flew off, heads snapped back, and Monte rolled into the vineyard driveway.
I checked that everyone was OK and then got out of the truck to see the damage. What I saw was astounding. In the middle of the intersection, bleeding green radiator fluid was a completely totaled Too Fast Too Furious tricked out Honda Civic. Literally zebra interior, ground effects, low profile tires, complete street performance package, destroyed. Plastic everywhere, green car juice spilled out on the road, mess. Cute, 19 year old girl was crying in the driver’s seat.
Then I turned around to inspect Monte. Well, you can see the damage in the picture below. A 7 inch dent in the bumper, and a pinched tailpipe that we eventually sawed off before we drove home 3 hours away.
Too Fast Too Furious was towed to wherever cars like that go to die.
So did you get the 19-year old’s name and insurance info or what?
Were her boobs real or oranges wedged under the skin?
. . . thats awesome. . . would have liked to see the ’speed racer’ though
That’s just beautiful. Key part on the Monte there that needs to be noted by car makers (in my mind): the actual metal bumper. We all remember those. Glad to hear she wasn’t hurt but one less too fast and far too furious import racer on the road is one more smile for me today.
My roommate had a ‘76 Chrysler Newport back a few years ago. Took a hit much like that. A Volkswagen Jetta managed to impale itself on the rear tow hitch that was welded onto his steel and chrome bumper. Sure that pimp mobile wasn’t an SUV but it was the SUV of it’s day in a sense. It was a full foot longer than a modern Subarban (probably weighed as much too).
Hoo-ray for big cars I say. We can’t get off all the oil dependence until we use it all up and send the world into chaos anyway.
Were her breasts real? Were they necksnappers. Were THEY enough to cause a rearender? The guy with the rollback “towtruck” did he make an attempt to smell the seat when he was putting the car in neutral?
Well, they are actually designed to do that. They have huge crumple zones like that so if you get in an actual life threatening accident it will take most of the impact, and it will leave the passenger compartment intact and safe. If you get in a REAL accident with your truck, dont be suprised if you find the engine sitting in (what was) your lap.
Isn’t it a shame how many lives are lost in “fender benders”, I am betting that if it were a “REAL” accident and ten to twenty miles per hour more, the same results would be seen.