This is Gregory Depres. He’s 22 years old. On April 25th, he came over the US-Canadian border in Maine carrying, and I shit you not, “homemade sword, a hatchet, a knife, brass knuckles and a chain saw stained with what appeared to be blood.”
US Customs officers confiscated the weapons, and then LET HIM INTO THE COUNTRY. Why not? You know? Fuck it. I would have detained him because of how he looks, minus the weapons, but I’m a real book-cover-judger, you know?
The next day, “the decapitated body of a 74-year-old country musician named Frederick Fulton was found on Fulton’s kitchen floor. His head was in a pillowcase under a kitchen table. His common-law wife was discovered stabbed to death in a bedroom.”
Guess who did it? “[Depres] was arrested April 27 after police in Massachusetts saw him wandering down a highway in a sweat shirt with red and brown stains. He is now in jail in Massachusetts on murder charges, awaiting an extradition hearing next month.”
What the fuck is going on?! What the fuck are the customs officers doing up there? Jesus Christ!