windtalkers
TV and movies are scarce in Dubai and I am getting desperate. Other than the stuff I download from bittorrent (The Ultimate Fighter, The Shield, Sopranos, Family Guy, Lost) all English Dubai TV is bland crap from network TV and heavily edited movies from 4 years ago. In the early evenings I sometimes wait anxiously for the commercial break to end and Dr. Phil to come back to dole out some more hard-hitting advice to self-destructive couples. (And that’s when I am not tied up in a teary-eyed self indulgent Oprah episode. I shit you not.
I just watched 30 minutes of John Woo’s 2002 Windtalkers, starring Nicolas Cage, and turned the TV off in utter disgust. This movie is the worst piece of shit I have ever seen. Absolute and total garbage. Metacritic’s collective “51″ rating is generous at best. Michael Wilmington of the Chigaco Tribune has the audacity to say, “It’s the best new battle film since “Black Hawk Down,” a movie it surpasses in sheer feeling and bravura style, if not in nightmarish panic and suspense.” Hahahahaha! Wilmington, you just became completely “uncredible”, note, not “incredible,” and I will never read another one of your reviews, ever. This is John Woo at his worst, historically inaccurate, tonally deaf, visually glossy like a UPN mini-series, and utterly uninspired. Total, total shit. 0 apples. Thumbs down, wayyy down.
Nick Cage should be ashamed, John Woo should kill himself, and Native Americans should protest.
And this is from a guy that now watches Dr. Phil…
I shared a cab with this film’s editor about 3 years ago. We were all stuck at the airport, having arrived during the earlier stages of blizzard. Barely any cabs. Took 2 hours to get one, and I offered to share my ride with him so he would not freeze. He told me not to bother seeing the film