Comedian Aries Spears, who you probably know from Mad TV or some kind of crappy movies, raps a little for a radio audience in this clip from Live 105. He is a comedian, but the shit isn’t funny at all. He performs a rap medley as LL Cool J, Snoop Dogg, DMX, and Jay Z, and you have never heard anything like it. This guy doesn’t have to have any other talent in his life and he’d be able to make a career of this. It is absolutely nuts.
[via josh spear.]
Vik Muniz, my favorite contemporary artist will be showing at Moma’s Long Island City PS1 museum from February 11 through May 7. Many of you know PS1 from its summertime art raves, outdoor swimming pools, DJs and beer, but it looks like they also have great shows in the winter.
For those of you who don’t know Vik Muniz, I have written about him here, here, here, here, and here. And here’s a bit about him from the press release:
Since the mid 1990s, Muniz has been incorporating everyday objects into his photographic process to create witty, bold, and often deceiving images based on photojournalism and art history. The Brazilian-born, New York-based artist makes pictures from dirt, diamonds, sugar, wire, string, chocolate syrup, peanut butter, dust, ketchup, the circular paper remnants made by hole punches, junk, pigment, and other materials. Though Muniz’s images are often familiar – borrowing from popular culture and Old Master artists – it is quickly evident that they are not what they seem. Using an approach that the artist calls “the worst possible illusion,” the works are formed from materials gathered from everyday life, which Muniz arranges and photographs, rather than traditional artistic materials.”
This is one of my favorite pieces, from the series, “Sugar Children.” It is made from sugar cane sprinkled on black canvas.
I promise you, this will be worth your time and $1.50 trip to Queens. I’ll be flying in during that time to do my taxes and have a visit, so I will DEFINITELY be going. You can wait for me, but do not miss this.
[thanks lisa.]
This is not a photo. Seriously.
It is a digital painting. See how it was done. Amazing, amazing work.
[via del.icio.us.]
David Sedaris read his Stadium Buddy story on David Letterman’s show early last year. For those of you who don’t know, David is one of the funniest writers of this generation. This story is one of my favorites. I’m not sure which book it’s from, but I heard it first on the Live From Carnegie Hall audio book. So good. Enjoy.
[via waxy.]
A dear old friend of mine has an adorable 5 year old nephew in kindergarten in New Jersey. She invited me to participate in a little event the school has organized to celebrate the kids’ 100th day in school. They have invited 100 friends to write emails from different parts of the world. I was honored to be asked, but, to be perfectly honest, I was also very, very stressed out about it. I have never felt like I’ve had so much responsibility in my fingers before. I felt old, and not-wise-enough, without the right advice or the right words to give it. This was an exercise in summing up my life for some little people with limited vocabularies and even less interest. I sent the email below just a few minutes ago. I hope I haven’t ruined anyone…
————————
Dear Derek and class,
100 days! Wow! I bet that seems like it went by very fast. That’s how it all feels when I look back. I can remember kindergarten very well, and that was 28 years ago! Boy does time fly by. I spent 17 years of my life in school, got a degree, and worked really hard after that. Now, I get paid to help people build websites, and I live very far away from where I grew up in Staten Island, NY.
I live in Dubai, in the United Arab Emirates. That’s on the other side of the planet, just south of the Persian Gulf, next to Saudi Arabia. Just 10 40 years ago this was a small city in the desert and some people still lived in tents. Now, it is the fastest growing city in the world, with millions of people, skyscrapers, beaches, shopping malls, and even man-made islands and a ski-slope with real snow. Here’s a link to it on Google Maps.
I am 33 years old now, and it was only this year that I learned the most important thing I ever learned: There is a very big world out there, and you won’t feel like you have had a good life unless you’ve seen most of it with your own eyes.
This year I have traveled a lot. I touched the ancient pyramids in Egypt, held a baby sea turtle in Mexico, was almost attacked by a morey eel in the Gulf of Oman, photographed beautiful buildings in Spain, walked across London Bridge, and snowboarded in a shopping mall in the desert of Dubai. I have never been happier.
I’ll leave you now with some pretty good advice: Work hard in school because it all pays off in the end. Listen to your teachers and parents because they did all this already. Travel the world because it’s nicer than New Jersey.
Congratulations on your first 100 days!
Best wishes,
Chris DiClerico
(Good, old friend of Derek’s Aunt Lori)
————————
When I get my dry-cleaning/washing done, the place where I send it, Champion Cleaners, overdoes it a bit. First of all, they pick up and deliver the damn clothes. It can’t get any better than that. But, the only options for t-shirts is “folded” or “hung” and, for Dubai, it is not cheap. There is no “by the pound” option like in Queens. I, by far, prefer “folded” because each t-shirt is literally washed in magic soap which makes it impossibly clean and new looking, then folded around its own 9″ X 12″ cardboard, and placed into its own plastic bag. I get a bag full of dozens of perfectly folded, perfectly clean, perfectly wrapped little shirts, in plastic bags. Its like fucking Christmas, only every week. It is truly awesome.
Since I got here, for some reason I can’t even come close to explaining, I have saved the cardboard that every t-shirt has come in. I have a giant stack on my desk in the bedroom. There are hundreds of them for sure. I have no plan. Just perfect cardboards. Maybe I’ll make a giant deck of cards. That would be ridiculous.
The other day I was looking at the cardboards, thinking what the fuck was I going to do with them, when it dawned on me. They are like perfect little canvases, and I should use the water-colors my sister gave me when I left for this place to paint on them.
But I have nothing to paint. No beautiful view, no trees, not really any water. Just bland white, off-white, and tan buildings, on gray skies and dusty roads. Not depressing, just not for watercolor recreation.
And then an email came and my sister suggested I might paint Skype the dead Magic Gecko. And that made me instantly think I should paint Skype the Magic Gecko. So now I might.
So, I guess now I am just wondering if you have any tips for me. I’ve never painted anything except a wall.
Last night was Top Gear’s season premiere on BBC. The last 12 minute segment was their interview with Richard Hammond, and the footage of his record breaking jet car speed run of 314MPH along with the other record breaking, and nearly neck-breaking, crash at 288MPH. This is an incredibly great segment. Jeremy Clarkson handles situation with humor and respect, and Hammy’s comments before and during the runs are heartbreaking. I am so glad this guy turned out OK and Top Gear is back.
Lucky for us somebody put the whole segment up on Google Video.
[via digg.]
Hot Chicks with Douchebags. I shit you not. Real site. Best site ever. Simple premise: pictures of hot chicks standing next to complete and utter douchebags. Why didn’t I think of this!!???
This bulgey ball of douche is like a blended energy drink of scrote. The “Douche Fruit Blend.” It’s on the menu at Jamba Juice right between “Berry Protein Power” and “Guava Energy.” Add a free Frosted Hair Boost, and it’s $4.95 well spent.
Too funny.
[via mike davidson.]
I won’t ruin this by telling you what it is in advance. Only 2 or 3 of you will care. Those same 2 or 3 people will start making phone calls to ensure that they have the right quality of weed lined up for the day of this movie’s release. I had no idea this was coming, and I couldn’t be more excited. Without further the trailer for the best movie of all time:
Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Colon
Movie Film For Theaters
Not much more at www.kingcolon.com
Bernard Derriman’s rabbit animation and song, Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me, is absolutely fantastic. Excellent animation, catchy tune, hilarious subject. This is worth a watch.
[via notcot.]
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