This customized animation makes me laugh.

[via jason.]

Most everyone knows that I’m a booby man. Some guys are ass men. I am a booby man. I like big jiggly boobs. I’m not sorry about it.

I also know how difficult athleticism must be for women blessed with the kind of DD+ blessings that I love. That’s why any new sports bra technology should have a demonstrative website to let women know exactly how it works and exactly how athletic its wearers can be.

The website for new Shock Absorbers uses flash technology to do exactly that. You select your bra cup size, from A through FF+G, which I did not know existed. Then you choose an activity level, from Light to Extreme. The app renders your selection in three forms, nude, normal bra, and Shock Absorber bra, and you watch an animation of the model jogging at a speed somehow related to the activity level.

The result is nothing short of the greatest thing ever on the internet. My favorite combo is (and I have tried every single one) DD + High Activity. Oh man.

[thank you witold.]

Jason McElwing is a Special Education student at Greece Athena High School in Rochester, NY.
He is the basketball team’s manager, and is loved by all that know him.

Jason’s been on the team for two years, and helps out the coach and players in any way he is able to.
For the last game of the season the coach decided to let Jason ‘dress’ for the game. Meaning that he would sit with the team, wearing a jersey, and feel like a real member of the team. Nice gesture by the coach.

What no one expected, though, was that Jason would get a chance to play in the final minutes of the final quarter of the game (a la Rudy).

Things started off slowly for Jason, missing his first couple of shot attempts (first was a total airball).
Then, something happened.
Michael Jordan’s spirit apparently decided to use Jason’s body as a medium for his comeback, and he destroyed the gym.
Six 3-pointers in a row, and a 2-pointer in there somewhere, totalling 20 points in about 3 minutes.
The crowd goes wild.
So awesome.

Go watch, and be inspired.
I love shit like this.

I am selling my 2001 Volkswagen GTI VR6. I love it so much, and I take great care of it, but I am moving to Dubai in the United Arab Emirates for work very soon. I am the original owner. The car only has 19,111 miles on it and it in excellent mechanical condition. I have religiously changed the oil every 3000 miles and have garage kept it for most of its life.

Because of the time not in the garage, it does have some dings and scratches on the driver-side door, and some long but light scratches across the hood. I am pretty sure some idiot in a parking lot slid a box across the top, and I know my friggin neighbor kept hitting the door with his door, but I couldn’t prove it. Bastards.

I haven’t made many modifications. I did put in a new radio: A Kenwood Sirius satellite compatible (without the actual satellite tuner), single-slot CD player with an auxiliary input that I have hooked up to a mounted mini-plug for direct iPod access. The original Monsoon system is still fine, but this new radio does not work with the steering wheel controls or the factory CD changer. iPod access without a stupid cassette adapter was more important to me. I’ll give you both radios.

I also have a K&N drop-in air filter that probably needs to be cleaned, but it otherwise perfect. I also have a Momo shifter knob on there that looks pretty cool. I’ll give to the original as well.

There’s a new battery, and the tires and brakes seem good. I had one minor accident about a year and a half ago that caused cosmetic damage to the front bumper and passenger side wheel well. I actually hit a raccoon on the highway. Trust me, he got the worst of it. He pretty much exploded.

Anyway, except for the minor dings and scratches, the car is perfect. And like I said before, it only has 19,111 miles on it.

The Kelly Blue Book value, including the cosmetic damage, is $12,745. Make me an offer. I’m in Astoria, Queens. You can come see and drive it Tuesday night, or Thursday, Friday, or Saturday any time.

Don’t miss out on this sweet-ass car.

I took some pictures that you can see on my Flickr account here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cdiclerico/sets/72057594071731115/

Let me just take a quick second to thank everyone for their attendance, compliments, love, and support last night at my official going away party. It is the biggest compliment in the world for a huge group of my friends from different parts of my life to get together and get along and dance and drink and eat and laugh together. My parents attended most of the party, which was great, and kind of weird (especially when the stripper showed up) , and the things you told them about me will have them gushing for weeks. Thank you very, very much.

Let me also offer a very special thanks to Heath and Chris, the owners of the Sunburnt Cow, and my dear friends, for really going all-out to make the party special. They made sure there was plenty of food in the form of 4 Portuguese roasted pigs (provided generously by Cynthia’s extraordinary father, Phil), excellent music provided by 2 DJs, a trumpet player, and I think a guy with a trombone, outstanding entertainment in the form of a dirty, dirty stripper, and an ice slide for shots that even my parents did.

I was the last person to leave, which is rare, without a paramedic and without a fist fight. I did so with a whole roasted pig wrapped in cellophane under one arm, and two messenger bags under the other. I had a lovely going away card from friends at work that included the username and password to a porn website for use on my trip to Dubai. Such good friends I have.

I slept until 3pm today and then I got my taxes done. I just wanted to take a quick minute to thank you all. I am still too tired for much else.

We’ll post a huge set of pictures tomorrow, I think, but let these two hold you over for now. The first is my cute parents taking shots from the ice slide, and the second is me getting a lapdance.

[via all my friends.]

These new VW GTI ads are fantastic. Perfectly executed “Unpimp My Ride” promos. You have to watch these.

[I forgot where I first saw these.]

Little Fella is yet another excellent little animation from the geniuses at tokyoplastic. You really should watch this.

[via screenhead.]

Emerald Nuts is running a bizarre but fantastic ad campaign on TV and on the web. Basically they create completely insane phrases with words that start with the letters E-M-E-R-A-L-D–N-U-T-S. For example, “Eagle-eyed Machete Enthusiasts Recognize A Little Druid Networking Under The Stairs… Even Druids love nuts.” Then, they make a commercial out of the scenario. I know how this sounds. But trust me, it’s awesome. The TV spots are live action, but all the web spots are nicely animated.

Now, they are running a daily contest asking readers to create the phrases. The prizes are basically nuts. Actually nuts. Some of the lines are great.

This is my submission, wish me luck:

“Elven Mailmen Eagerly Row A Lavender Dingy Near Unfathomably Tumultuous Seas. Even elves love nuts.”

[via lowenhar.]

I want this simulator in my living room so bad.

[via digg.]

Family Guy is, of course, one of my favorite shows of all time. This clip of Stewie as a bookie is one of the funniest reasons why. I can’t stop watching and laughing at this. God, I love this show.

[via smit.]

Ron Burgundy, anchorman, auditions for ESPN, and it’s too fucking funny. This clip is on the DVD of Anchorman, but a lot of people have never seen it. Enjoy.

He was right by the way, “financial and cultural disaster.”

[via manny.]

Well, the time is finally here for me to move on. When I say “move on”, I really mean MOVE ON. I have quit my job and am moving to Dubai in the UAE in 2 weeks (in case you haven’t already heard). I’ll be there from 6 months to a year working on the website for Emirates airlines. Before I go, I need to say goodbye to my first love, pork, because they really don’t have very much pork in the Muslim Middle East.

So we’ll be having a big party at the Sunburnt Cow on Friday. It’s one of my favorite places, owned by one of my favorite friends, and we’ll be roasting pigs. That’s right, Portuguese Roasted Pigs. We’ll also be drinking until the paramedics have to come. Friday is my last official day at work, and Saturday should be free for most people to recover. (It’s better than Friday morning in a status meeting…)

EVERYONE is invited. I mean EVERYONE. Ask any of your friends, family, or neighbors (that like pork) to join you in the festivities. If I forgot somebody, invite them. If you have plans, cancel them. If you don’t show up, I will finally know how much you don’t like me. (The likelihood of me returning from Dubai with all my hands and feet (and head) are slim.)

Friday, February 24th

7pm until they haul me away

The Sunburnt Cow

Ave. C @ 9th St

View the official EVite here.

Viva la pork!!!